Speaking from the Heart

Jeff favorite motto is "if  something is  broken and it can be fixed, why replace it?".  It was no surprise to me when his watch battery died, he went to Walmart to replace it. The guy behind the jewelry counter said he was not authorize to change out  watch batteries.


If it were me, I would have brought a new $16.00 digital watch  to avoid the trouble driving around town looking for a jeweler who would replace the battery for me. Not Jeff,  he decided to purchase the battery and do it himself. When we returned home, he replaced the battery and the watch went  "bonkers". After many failed attempts, Jeff gave up and brought himself a new watch.


Our icemaker was producing ice nonstop. Not only that, it had a small leak. Once a week, I had to use my heat gun (hair dryer) to melt chunks of ice. If I went a week without it, I had a 3" block of ice that I had to chip away. Tired of this repetitous chore, I  gave up and allowed the ice cubes to overflow to the point the machine wasn't producing anymore ice. At this point, Jeff decided to fix/replace the icemaker. After finding the kit at Lowes, he took on the task of "do-it-yourself" and saved on the repair bill.


LOL, Jeff can fix a icemaker, but unable to fix his watch !!!


For more FridayFunnies, visit Kim.

The Sunday school teacher asked her pupils to write down their weekly prayer requests. Millie asked for more money, so there would be more food in the house. Hoping that the church would want  to help Millie's family, the teacher gave the request  to the preacher.

Concerned about the request, the preacher approached Millie's grandpa the following Sunday. He said that the church was praying for Millie's family. If they needed food, they could come to the church's food bank on Fridays. Looking at grandpa's expression, the preacher thought grandpa might have been embarrassed about the sensitive matter. After the preacher told  Grandpa about  Millie's prayer request , grandpa had  a good chuckle. When the chuckle subsided, grandpa ensured  the preacher that the family was doing fine. Because Millie's 3 brothers were hearty eaters,  the pantry and fridged were constantly bare.

For more Friday Funnies, go see Kim.

JACK (age 3)
was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister.... After a while he asked: 'Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?'

MELANIE (age 5)
asked her Granny how old she was.. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, 'If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties.. Mine say five to six.'


STEVEN (age 3)
hugged and kissed his Mom good night. 'I love you so much that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window.'


BRITTANY (age 4)
had an ear ache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: 'How does it know it's me?'


SUSAN (age 4)
was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. 'Please don't give me this juice again,' she said, 'It makes my teeth cough..'

DJ (age 4)
stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: 'How much do I cost?'


CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, 'I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in it?'


MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: 'Why is he whispering in her mouth?'


TAMMY(age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, 'Why doesn't your skin fit your face?'


JAMES (age 4)was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: 'The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.' Concerned, James asked: 'What happened to the flea?'


The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget
...
This particular Sunday sermon....'Dear Lord,' the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. 'Without you, we are but dust...' He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice, 'Mom, what is butt dust?'

For more Friday Funnies, click on the clipart.

For more Friday Funnies, click on the F.F. Clipart.